The Weed Of Fear
|What we often fail to realize, is that love is a living entity. It is a living part of who we are. We take time to feed ourselves, take in water, and cleanse ourselves each day. We need to remember that when it comes to love, we must do the same kinds of things, if we wish love to grow, and blossom in our life, and in the lives of others.|
Picture love as the seed of an oak tree. The seed that is planted in the soil of our lives, is the seed of friendship, wrapped in the outer shell of that oak tree. As that seed grows, it becomes a small sapling. As we water that sapling in our lives in each day, it blossoms upward, as well as deeper, by extending its roots, so that the tree of friendship has the proper foundation to withstand the winds, rain, ice, and snow, that may come into our lives at times, and can one day become the tree of love in our life. Trees don't reach maturity overnight, and we need to remind ourselves at times, that love doesn't mature overnight either.
One of the weeds that we all need to be on the look out for in our life, when it comes to love, is the weed of fear. If we are not careful, these weeds will take root around the tree of love in our life, and choke it, so that it slowly whithers, and dies.
The weed of fear is very small, and unimposing, at first glance. However, it is a fast grower, and can overtake anything that it becomes attached to.
What does the weed of fear look like? Unfortunately, the weed of fear has many different colors, and shapes. It is not always easy to notice.
One of the shapes that the weed of fear takes in our lives at times, is the shape of the past. When fear takes this shape, it portrays itself as our friend. It portrays itself as something that is there to protect our tree of love. It's leaves appear very colorful, and pleasant to look at. What we fail to realize at times, is that these leaves with their brilliant colors and shapes, that remind of us the past, act as parasites quietly taking all the nutrients of the tree of love for itself. It is important for us to be on the look out for this weed, and do our best to remove it, should we see it starting to grow on our tree of love.
Have you ever said to yourself, "I want to have love in my life, but I am afraid of getting hurt again?" Have you ever said to yourself, "I care about this person, but they will have to prove themselves to me, before I let them in my heart". Have you ever said to yourself, "This feels too good to be true. I am sure that things are going to turn bad, and I need to protect myself". If you have said these kinds of things to yourself, or others at times, you were showing the weed of fear to yourself, or that other person, instead of showing them your tree of love.
The weed of fear is very insidious. Its leaves are bigger than the leaves of the tree of love, and it has no problem blocking the sun of clarity and understanding with our tree of love at times. Over time, these leaves will completely block out the light of clarity and understanding.
Lets look at why this weed is so damaging to our tree of love. If we say to ourselves, that we want to love, but we are afraid of getting hurt, we are feeding the weed of fear in our life. When we say we want to love, but are afraid of getting hurt, so we will keep walls up, we are declaring to ourselves, as well as those around us, that the weeds of the past, still have control over us. We are declaring to ourselves, and to others, that it is better to live in fear, than to experience the love and the light that comes from the tree of love. When we live in fear, we are giving the weed of fear permission to grow freely in our life, so that it will protect us ( at least we think it will ).
I want you to ask yourself this question, "Is it right to make someone in your present life, pay for the 'sins' of someone from your past"? What did the person in your life right now, do to deserve being covered in the weed of your inner fear? When we say, "we want to love someone, but we are afraid of getting hurt", we are telling ourselves, as well as the person that we care about, that we don't believe in ourselves, or them, because of what happened to us at some point in the past. When we live that way, we are planting the weed of fear right next to our tree of love, and hoping that the weed of fear will not grow out of hand. The insidious thing about the weed of fear, is that it makes us believe that we are in control. The ugly truth is, the weed of fear is in control, when we talk to ourselves, and others with fear, and distrust. Every time we say these kinds of things to ourselves, and others, we water the weed of fear, instead of watering our tree of love.
We can't change the past. What we can do, is take personal inventory of our past when need be, acknowledge our wrong in that past relationship, accept the blame that is rightfully ours, and then bury those weeds of fear. I am not saying that we should forget the past. I don't believe we should forget the past. However, if we are to have the tree of love in our life, and water it with compassion and understanding, we must once and for all, face the weed of fear in that part of our life, so that we stop looking backwards, and start looking forward, at the blessing of the tree of love, that is slowly growing before us. When we feed the weed of fear in our life, over past relationships, we are choosing to hold onto fear, and the isolation within ourselves, that comes from feeding that weed of fear.
We are not the same person ( at least we shouldn't be ) that we were yesterday, last month, last year, or 5 years ago. As such, we need to allow ourselves to embrace that present fact, and be thankful for that working in our life over time. At the same time, we need to remind ourselves, that those who are in our life right now, are not those same people who hurt us, and continued to hurt us, time and time again. We all need to stop holding others accountable for things that they had no part in. We need to stop holding ourselves accountable for the past, each and every time someone new comes into our life wanting to be a part of our tree of love.
So many times, we try and bury the past, without taking proper inventory of it, and it continually shows its colorful weeds to us, and the fear grows stronger, and we isolate ourselves in that 'perceived' bedding of comfort, that we have known all these years, never understanding why, when we invite someone to become a part of our tree of life, they don't seem to stay very long.
When is the last time you looked at your tree of love? Take a look at your tree of love. Are there lots of leaves from the weed of fear, growing up, and around your tree of love? Is so, do you have the courage to do some personal pruning?
Facing our inner fear is not always easy. However, it is something that we must do on a regular basis, if our tree of love is to continue growing in our life like we wish for it to.