Are You Content?
|Would you be content in yourself, to take a job, that required little effort or ability on your part? Would you be content in yourself, to have a job where, you did the same exact things every day; never wanting, or being able to learn more, and grow inside yourself, as it relates to your job? More than likely, you said "No." "I would not be content to have a job of that description, much less entertain the thought of applying for a job, with no possible room for growth, or advancement".|
For those with children, would you be, or are you content as an individual, and as a parent, to not inspire, and challenge your child, to be the very best that they can be? Would you be content, in not having a close, and intimate spiritual relationship with them, that went past "How was your day"? Any parent who loves their child, would seek ( and should seek ) to be an integral, and fulfilling part of their child's life.
If you are in a serious relationship, currently married, or have been married before, are you, or were you content and fulfilled, in a relationship that stopped, or never went beyond the surface? Where you content, to merely be a roommate to someone physically, and or spiritually? Where you content, to pass each other in the hall, exchanging pleasantries because thats what you felt was expected of you, or that is as far as you went inside yourself in the relationship, or where allowed to go, in regards to being mentally, spiritually, and physically intimate with someone, in their proper forms and balance?
Why is it, that most wouldn't ever settle for less than the very best for them, when it comes to a job, or their children, or even family members and what have you, but when it comes to interpersonal relationships, that are of a different nature, than the aforementioned, so many are content in exchanging the proverbial pleasantries of life? Why is it, that so many are content in and of themselves, to never walk deep inside another person, hugging and kissing them deep inside, and allowing one another to walk into those special rooms in each of their hearts, that are so very dear, and special to them?
When it comes to interpersonal relationships, intimacy on a variety of levels, does not happen over night. It is utterly impossible to have intimacy on a mental, spiritual, and physical level overnight. It takes time. It takes effort. And most of all, it takes sacrifice not only in, and of ourselves, but it also requires those same things of the other people in our life, that we truly want to have a deep and meaningful relationship with.
There is something very important, that I believe we all need to remind ourselves of at times. That is, interpersonal relationships, in whatever form, or label we wish to attach to them, are living parts of us, and of others. What we fail to remember at times, for whatever reason, is that interpersonal relationships do not, and should not, remain the same each day. If we are in a relationship with someone, or seeking to be, and we are at the same place in our ourselves with that other person today, that we were a month ago, six months ago, or even a year ago, that is a big 'red flag' to us, that something is not right, and we need to address it. We need to first address that red flag in ourselves, and then with that other person in our life.
An interpersonal relationship is either growing ( in its roots or branches ) or it is slowly dying, from lack of water and nutrients. Either we are moving closer and closer to that other person in our life, and subsequently ourselves, or we are slowly moving farther and farther away from that special person in our life.
What are you doing, in and of yourself, to help grow that interpersonal relationship in your life, whatever form it may be? Notice I didn't ask, what is that other person doing to facilitate growth in the relationship? As I said earlier, an interpersonal relationship requires work and sacrifice by both people. It is not, and should not be a one way street. At the same time, we must first look to ourselves, to make sure that we are doing all that we can ( for the right reasons ) to help grow the relationship in our life, as well as with the other person. Once we look to ourselves, and see where we may be lacking, and take action, we are better able to look to that other person, and share with them, what our needs, desires, and goals are, as far as the relationship is concerned.
If the interpersonal relationship you are in right now, seems to be waning, have you been open and vulnerable inside yourself, as well as the other person? Hiding behind the proverbial pleasantries of life if you will, may be safe, but it won't lead you to the place you wish to go inside yourself, and with that other person. There is going to come a point, where you hit that wall if you will, that prevents you, and that other person from climbing the wall of intimacy. When you reach that point inside yourself, ( and you may be there already) you are going to have to make a decision. Either you are going to slowly watch the relationship wither away, or you are going to do your very best to take action in yourself, and with that other person, so that the relationship doesn't slowly die, and continues to blossom and grow.
Many times, we are quick to see the fault in others in this area. Often times, we are quick to say to ourselves, that other person isn't reaching out, or taking the next step, like you hoped they would. At times, we are doing everything we possibly can, to keep the relationship growing in ourselves, and with the other person. However, if we are all honest with ourselves, there have been times, where we expected more of others, than we were willing to give of ourselves, either because we were afraid to be vulnerable with the other person, in sharing with them, exactly how we feel about them in our heart, or we aren't sure how we truly feel about them, so we deflect those feelings, or deny them, when the subject may come up, hoping that somehow, we will get clarity in ourselves, by not communing inside, as well as with that other person.
If you want to get to know someone better, on a variety of levels, you are going to have to make yourself available, and vulnerable, not only to yourself, but with that other person in your life. It is not right to expect that others be vulnerable in their thoughts, feelings, and actions with you, while you sit behind your wall of security, deciding whether or not you want to be vulnerable, while they continue to give, and reach out.
You may be saying to yourself, "Being vulnerable with someone is scary at times". Your right. It can be scary at times. It is not always easy. At the same time, it can be the most wonderful experience you have ever shared. You may be saying to yourself, "If I allow myself to be completely open and vulnerable, it may not work out, and it will hurt". The relationship you may have started with that other person, may not work out, for whatever reason. On the other hand, it very well could be the best thing that ever happened inside of you. You will never know, unless you and that other person, give it your very best.
Are you content with the communication, and intimacy you have right now in your interpersonal relationships? If you are, are you growing closer and closer with that other person each day, on a variety of levels? If you aren't content right now in your interpersonal relationships, what are you going to do about it?